When you can't sleep.....

When you can't get to sleep, lying on the bed staring at the glowing stars, thoughts will just keep on bombarding your mind. So instead of forcing myself to sleep, I chose to put my thoughts down in words. ^_^!!!

I supposed it's only normal for a girl to get moody once a month :) But this month happened to turn out the worst of all :'( You must be thinking it's only the start of the month, why would it be the worse when there's another 28 days to go. To me, things can't get any worse than now, but then life still got to move on. 

I must say that I can be quite an independent girl. I used to be able to handle things myself, but I found out recently that even some small decisions I had to ask for opinions. And the only reason I can come out with is that people around me kept on pampering me. :)))

HAHAHA! I must be crazy to complain that there's too much pampering for me. I mean, who wouldn't like to be pampered? Once a while, someone to pamper you can be quite a luxury to enjoy. Especially if the someone meant a lot to you. :) 

And as time goes by, you'll crave (Or should I say look forward?) for such pampering and sooner or later, you'll think it's part of what everyone does for you. But these pampering isn't good at all, it makes you lose your sense of self. Your own decision making and most important of all, you will start to depend on others. 

When you start to depend on others, you're showing a weaker side of yourself to them. Just recently, the amount of stress and unexpectedness took me away that I broke down in front of a friend. A friend that I knew I shouldn't cry in front of. Because he was not meant to see me cry. Crying (not of happy tears) is something that one should do alone, to enjoy the solitude found in your own world. I like crying alone, because that's when I can cry as loud as I like, to let everything out. Especially when I'm under the blanket. HAHAHA! :)) Crying do clear your mind a bit, sort of like opening up the left side of your brain. So that you can think logically. And when facts start to lay out in front of you, just accept them. Because they are already facts and there's nothing you can do to change it.

I'm someone to work towards what I want in life, but for once, I decided to give up. Not because I can't do it, but because I have learn to be content with what I'm blessed with. Someone who's willing to accept the whole package. Be it good or bad, he's always there to help me through the tough times. I'm learning not to take things for granted anymore and treasure what's in front of me. I don't wanna live my life in regrets.

And I wanna be back to the cheerful, smiley and a happy-go-lucky girl! :))) And of course, to make up for my pillar of support for these years,

Yeah, he's tall enough to be my pillar HAHAHA! :) Thank YOU for everything. :))))

P.S: Looking forward to 26th November :)))